Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
