Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
