After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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