I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
