question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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