I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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