in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
