Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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