My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Screwed.edu
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
