What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize