you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
