wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
