Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
