Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
