Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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