oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
