the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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