In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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