I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
