I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
BRING THE BAGELS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
