So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
