I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
