Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
