Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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