i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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