why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
