i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
