shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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