I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
