I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
