I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
