i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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