the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
