This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
