a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize