Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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