No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
