He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
