Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
