Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
