he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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