at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
