$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
