dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
