I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
