What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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