She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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