4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
actually, I'm a sock model
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
