I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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