I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
