Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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