Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
