it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
