I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
