Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
