Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I could fuck to npr.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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