is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
