Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize