It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
