I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
