idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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