omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
