overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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