1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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