i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
