I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize