i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
