I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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