his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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