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If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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